Completing Parker’s Board Games in Date Everything: A Guide

When you pick up a game called Date Everything, you know you’re in for a quirky ride. Instead of just dating people or a specific category, you have the chance to date just about anything—be it wild concepts like nightmares or the groceries in your kitchen.

One character you can date is Parker Bradley, who represents board games themselves. Typically, board games require at least two players, but in this case, when the game comes alive, it’s like having two people in one. But just like in many board games, expect a good dose of randomness with Parker.

How to Meet Parker

Unlike most characters in the game, Parker isn’t available from the start. He’s locked away in the attic, and you can only reach him once you find the key. The key, unfortunately, is missing. To unlock the attic, you need the Skeleton Key, Keith, which is hidden in a crawlspace accessed from the boiler room near your office. Just move the mat on top of the trapdoor to get there.

Once you finally obtain that key, you can climb into the attic, which holds several new characters, including Parker, who appears as a box of board games. Among assorted boxes in this attic are those containing Beau, Lady Memoria, and Holly. You’ll find Parker’s box closest to the door, right next to a plastic plant named Prissy Plastique.

When you wake him up, Parker will be thrilled to finally have someone to play games with after being cooped up for so long. After a quick introduction, he’ll invite you back for a series of board games as a way to win his affection.

Beating Parker’s Board Games

After your first chat, Parker will inform you that to earn his love, you need to win at each board game he has planned. It isn’t straightforward, as luck plays a significant role in many games. But some games do let you showcase your skills.

Each win adds a point towards his love, while each loss brings a point toward him disliking you. Your conversation choices with Parker don’t affect the outcome. So focus on winning rather than trying to charm him with your dialogue.

Here’s how to tackle Parker’s board games and earn his affection.

Sandy Kingdom

The first game you’ll play with Parker resembles a linear version of Monopoly. It has 12 spaces, and the goal is to be the first to reach the end. Parker will let you choose a game piece, but this choice doesn’t impact the gameplay since you can’t actually see them.

Your main task is to spin the wheel, which determines how many spaces you’ll move. Each space has unique effects, like advancing you, sending you backward, or keeping you put. The outcomes are random for both players, leaving you at the mercy of fate.

You do have a couple of tricks up your sleeve, though. You can prompt Parker to act flustered by getting him to strip, which might help you cheat more easily. Additionally, you can choose to sneeze instead of spinning just once. This lets you position yourself directly before the finish line, ensuring you win on your next spin.

Once one of you reaches the end, you’ll gain points toward either a love or hate ending, depending on who wins.

Chess

The second game Parker challenges you to is chess, one where strategy plays a crucial role. You don’t need to be a chess expert to win; just learn the basics, mainly how to capture the King.

You should play this game straightforwardly, since Parker isn’t exceptionally good. Let him capture one of your Pawns to expose his defenses and allow you to approach his King. Before long, you’ll be able to checkmate him without much difficulty.

To maximize your chances, play aggressively. Parker tends to be a passive player, so taking the offensive from the start will keep him on the defensive.

Dairy Maker

The last game dives into industry, which your character finds rather confusing. Thankfully, you don’t need intricate knowledge of the rules to play effectively.

Parker will invite you to choose between France or England, while he picks Belgium. If you try to select Belgium too, he’ll deny you and assign one of the other two countries instead.

The secret to beating Parker lies in weakening his position instead of strengthening yours. By observing Belgium’s playstyle, you’ll notice that they focus heavily on dairy production. Shift your efforts to dairy as well, even if your nation isn’t equipped for it initially.

At first, it may seem like Parker is ahead, but maintaining this strategy will help you ultimately outproduce his dairy. Your output might not match his quality, but by sheer volume, you can dominate the market.

Parker will have to concede defeat, and you will emerge victorious. While other strategies might exist, this is the simplest path to winning this game.

The Results

With all three board games in the books, you need to chat with Parker again. Initially, he revealed that your relationship fate isn’t fully in your hands, as it partly relies on luck. Winning does play a role, though.

Parker will roll custom-weighted dice that account for all your wins, losses, and any cheating he caught you doing. Before the roll, he’ll indicate which outcome seems most likely, although it’s not guaranteed.

After the dice are cast, you’ll receive your final outcome with Parker. And this result is set in stone.

How to Change Your Relationship Status with Bradley

So you’ve conquered all of Parker’s games and even claimed victory. Yet somehow, he still ended up disliking you. You might be wondering if there’s a way to change that. Unfortunately, no. The ending you receive is permanent, no matter how much candy you offer.

Similar to Sandy Kingdom, while the results are determined by your past performances, the outcome itself is confirmed after your last game, not during the conversation afterward. If you want to change the ending, you’ll need to replay from before completing the final board game and hope for a different result.